Posts by Tyrone van leyen

68

Jw upbringing and retarded social growth.

by AK - Jeff in

i was raised a jw, by an inactive jw mom.

looking back, and reflection on my childhood, causes me to wonder.. i honestly did not miss the holidays, for example.

i never had them, so nothing was taken away in that regard.

Tyrone van leyen

Dang Bizzy Bee, those bullshit lines were used on me when I asked why I could not go to my graduation. Looks like they sure made the rounds and went a long way with that weak crap. How is it bad association, if I have been going to class with these people for the last 4 years . I worked hard in advnced and finshed with a 75% average taking 8 courses and there was no rewards whatsoever. There were no rewards for good behaviour, a job well done, no vacations. You just wouldn't beleive it.

A beautiful girl from my drama class even aked me to take her to the prom. Sorry dear, " Bad association spoils useful habits. I asked my brothers to drive me to the school anyway, and watched her go in with another guy while. It's like watching your life pass you by! The witnesses even banded together to keep me from my first concert. It wasn't black sabbath or alice cooper, Just Corey Hart for Christ sake! My whole family Kiboshed it and the elders too.

It must be a real power trip dor the elders and my father to have that kind of control. I remember saying to my father Hey dad everyones doing something tonight and I wanna do something too. His response was, read a book. If thats not all, he wanted to put me in law school at Osgoode Hall in Toronto. Oh thats just great. No social life and now I can bury my nose in dry legal texts for the next 20 years while attending meetings and having no social life whatsover. There was zero consideration for my social life or feelings or any kind of pressure they could heap on me. It was an absolute power trip for them.

68

Jw upbringing and retarded social growth.

by AK - Jeff in

i was raised a jw, by an inactive jw mom.

looking back, and reflection on my childhood, causes me to wonder.. i honestly did not miss the holidays, for example.

i never had them, so nothing was taken away in that regard.

Tyrone van leyen

One more thing Jeff. Not just culturally have we been robbed, and feel like strangers in our own land, but there were never any rights of passage. That is to say, no birthdays, no graduations, and no meaningful markers to put you from one stage of life,in social recognition,to another.

I think that without these markers and no cultural identity, it makes it 50 times easier,for elder overlords to push the young ones around for their own purposes. It also makes it 50 times harder to meet a mate unless she's as messed up as you, cuz there is nothing to relate to.

The Societies desire is to mould something perfectly obedient with no fight. It was all we knew, and they knew it, and couldn't be happier. I was good kid. Then when you step out of line, they dangle you over a void. Guilt will keep you on the straight and narrow even if you leave.

Growng up JW is more a punitive, rather than loving family arrangement. It is more Judicial than loving. There is no understanding. It always comes from the watchtower,in which case the writers,have no kids and are businessmen. Guilt and fear are the ultimate means of control. This is not condusive to exploration of self, or the world.

Anyone who raises his kid under these guidelines,without thinking for themselves over matters, is guilty of delinquent parenting.

68

Jw upbringing and retarded social growth.

by AK - Jeff in

i was raised a jw, by an inactive jw mom.

looking back, and reflection on my childhood, causes me to wonder.. i honestly did not miss the holidays, for example.

i never had them, so nothing was taken away in that regard.

Tyrone van leyen

Absolutely Jeff! I can't beleive I grew up in a civilized nation in the 21st century and missed everything. To tell you the truth, I'd probably have had more fun growing up in third world country. If I wrote down all the things I missed. The average person wouldn't beleive it.

Just yesterday I was returning bottles and some guy engaged me in coversation. He seemed pleasant and was going on about his life troubles. When I went on about mine, bringing up being raised in a cult, I got the distinct feeling he didn't beleive what I was saying, about what I missed. He shortly therafter cut the conversation short. Either cuz he thought I was full of it, or just couldn't relate. It leaves you furious when this continues every day. It makes you even more furious when your parents can't relate to a word your saying, see no problem, and actually try with all their efforts of coercion, to bring you back to prison!

68

Jw upbringing and retarded social growth.

by AK - Jeff in

i was raised a jw, by an inactive jw mom.

looking back, and reflection on my childhood, causes me to wonder.. i honestly did not miss the holidays, for example.

i never had them, so nothing was taken away in that regard.

Tyrone van leyen

Ya that figures Obves. You have the same mentality. You pull numbers out of your ass at random, like the watchtower, ignoring as the watchtower does, the scriptures that says no man knows the day or the hour.

You beleive you have special knowledge. So do the witnesses. You overlook all injustices. So do the witnesses. Your insensitvity is the same too. You come on a anti witness theology board and give the witnesses a pat on the back, on a thread in which qualified born-ins relate their experiences. No regard for lost childhood, or injustice. Many witnesses are the same. They just can't see what they did wrong.

Your stubborness is the same to. You continue to preach on a board where nobody at all listens. The witnesses knock on doors and nobody listens.

What are you saying ? You don't beleive us when we tell you, we have been socially retarded in our development, or you think we have the mental problem and wer'e just making it up cause wer'e angry?

You above all ,should understand what it is to be a social misfit, but you are proud of it. So are the witnesses.

If anyone thought you actually had something intelligent to say, we actually might consider it a slap in the face. As it is, you are not even on the radar.

Your strong desire for a better world, your idealism, is overiding your better judgement and compassion.

If you grew up as a witness, you wouldn't desire that life, anymore than someone raised as a nazi.

If you were raised as a witness, you wouldn't be free to make your ridicuous calcualtions, without watchtower approval. You wouldn't even be on this board. You didn't grow up in a cult.

Your conviction for the incorrect babble you spew every day, with your freedoms in hand, puts you more in the category, of cult leader, than follower. You would love that, so long as your freedoms were not infringed upon. Insensitivity is a must, and constant repitition of garbage. Your a natural!

Unfortunately, you have come to a board where everyone is tired of BS and insensitivity. The third world is ripe for the plucking. Just follow the witness lead on that one, trust me.

11

My mom thinks she has a big secret that is known only to those at the hall.

by JWdaughter in

jw
friends

so, she tells me today has some interesting news, but she can't tell me what it is.

eventually, she revealed that her news was from the hall, but said it is a secret and she really can't talk about it.

so, i say to her--you mean about how the bookstudy is changing and not on a different night anymore?

Tyrone van leyen

There are no secrets anymore,thanks to internet leaks. Holding onto secrets gives the illusion, of having special knowlegde and for the governing body special powers. Even the elders flock book, (dictators manuel) isn't sacred ground anymore. Nothing special there.

My mom too, can't beleive I know things,soemtimes even before she does,and I havn't set foot in a kingdom hall, maybe twice in 20 years.

If the witnesses wern't so cruel by shunning folks and creating enemies, maybe they would still have some secrets. Unfortunately they have created a huge appetite for their own imminent demise in the form of disgruntled if not downright pissed off followers and ex followers. Stupid!

There is a wide range of talent that can get whatever info it likes,inside and outside,the organization. . All it takes is one person in the know and it spreads like wildfire. ( Don't you wish your watchtower rag could do the same thing?)

The watchtower now stands naked. Naked about it's past, which it can't bury. Naked about it's miconcepetions in theology, Naked in it's guilt of the innocent.

Now more than ever, the majority see that the emporer has no clothes.

68

Jw upbringing and retarded social growth.

by AK - Jeff in

i was raised a jw, by an inactive jw mom.

looking back, and reflection on my childhood, causes me to wonder.. i honestly did not miss the holidays, for example.

i never had them, so nothing was taken away in that regard.

Tyrone van leyen

Perhaps certain areas are less radical. Did anyone ever have record breaking parties? Not Guiness records. Mainstream music. They used to go through albums and about 90% of them were all demon possesed. Even my mother was breaking them. I even attended a party in my mid teens with fellow witness kids and the father demanded we turn the lights up and play kingdom music instead of mainstream.

I remember being forced to walk out of movies like terms of endearment cause there was one swear word. If you didn't follow suit with the self riteous jerk who was acting all holy, you'd be labeled.

I was banned from my own graduation.

Later, when they finaly nailed me, they cut me out of both of my brothers weddings and my brothers made their best man, people who I know for a fact were having premarital sex. Even my brothers knew it.

There was never a chance for me to any normal social cohesion. Thats why I ended up in destitution after they finally chopped me down in my prime. My ears are still ringing 20 years later.

I have very little trust in human beings. All my early life taught me was that I'd be better off without them.

When I enede up on the streets for 6 years, I got screwed left right and centre because of naivity and depression. Now I'm finally free of that bullshit too but have zero desire to meet anyone new. I've had a belly full of bullshit enough to last two lifetimes.

68

Jw upbringing and retarded social growth.

by AK - Jeff in

i was raised a jw, by an inactive jw mom.

looking back, and reflection on my childhood, causes me to wonder.. i honestly did not miss the holidays, for example.

i never had them, so nothing was taken away in that regard.

Tyrone van leyen

Ya no kidding Bizzy Bee. I'd like to know too. I can't speak for others Mulan, but witness or not, I can gauranteee you 5000% you wern't raised the same way as me. Off the Radar to me,means, favoured and protected from within a circle of power. I know lots of elders sons that get that special priviledge. I also know that they drink, party their asses off and have sex too. I'm not implying that of you Mulan, so do tell. Surely if you wern't effected, you must have seen a dichotomy within,of those that were,obviously, cause there are lots of us. I was not only outgoing I was charismatic, and the witness elders did everything in their power to crush me. Shit they wouldn't even let me play chess, no concerts, no girlfreinds, no shit!

68

Jw upbringing and retarded social growth.

by AK - Jeff in

i was raised a jw, by an inactive jw mom.

looking back, and reflection on my childhood, causes me to wonder.. i honestly did not miss the holidays, for example.

i never had them, so nothing was taken away in that regard.

Tyrone van leyen

Sass, are you saying it's genetic in your case. I know that the world is made up of all kinds, it's true. Some people see the world much differently. There are plenty of maladjusted people, who have never had any religion. Some folks, you can throw the worst at them and they bounce right back or adjust by leading a double life.

Problem is, for what is considered socially normal, which we all desire to be, the witnesses are antisocial in the larger sense of society itself. Yes genetics might play some part, but for someone maladjusted or different to begin with, I can't see this being any good for self esteem. It is a pecking order. It has no soul. It itself, is socially maladjusted.

If you fill your mind with anything other than reality you have no tools to work with in the real world. If you had no sense of reality to begin with, which is the case of all witness kids, it amounts to a bad start in the search for self, regardless of being different. Even intellects can fall deep into the rabbit hole and be consumed by it. Terry

Nature versus nurture is a tough one, but the odds are never in favour of those who live by someone elses agenda. Exploration of self is a lot easier with the abscence of a cult.

Spirituality is measured by how many magazines you place rather than good deeds or decency . That is incorrect programming.

Being told that shunning others is an act of love to make sinners repent is incorrect programming.

Not allowing kids to go to social events is incorect social programming.

Being told you will die at Harmaggedon and the only thing worth doing with your life is to preach is grossy incorect programming.

Telling a kid not to masturbate or dating must be chaperoned is indecent and incorrect social programming.

It covers all aspects of the heart and mind.

9

my real fantasy

by Hortensia in

here's my real fantasy: i'm a massage therapist and i've been giving massages and listening to massage music for 25 years.

i wish someone would create some well-thought out massage music for me and name it after me (not hortensia, maybe hortense?

or my real name?

Tyrone van leyen

Hmm well I know there is one in my city, but I stumbled upon it really. Surely they must have such things in the States. Might even be in the yellow pages, or check the net.

About the salt. Good question. Germs can't live in salt to well,but It would sure be kinda creepy if they didn't change it.

I could use a good messsage Hortensia, while listening to Megadeth.

68

Jw upbringing and retarded social growth.

by AK - Jeff in

i was raised a jw, by an inactive jw mom.

looking back, and reflection on my childhood, causes me to wonder.. i honestly did not miss the holidays, for example.

i never had them, so nothing was taken away in that regard.

Tyrone van leyen

Oh my favourite topic! Gee you sound a lot like me Jeff old boy. I really do wonder the impact of all that crap too. I was a loner at school, a loner on the streets and now I'm still a loner. I really do beleive the religion redirects natural urges for social cohesion at key moments in developmental stages of growing up, that forever leaves some in a bind. It is being cast in a mould. I think for those that are able to escape unscathed, is because they wern't born in it, or didn't have parents that enforced it.

Seems that there are a few that made the big jump at Bethel. Perhaps that comes when the realization sets in, that you have wasted your life to a lie and are in to deep to make change. The mould is too strong and the internal conflict becomes too great to bear when the disonnance lifts. Sorry for your loss.